Disclaimer: This article is not against saying No. One should exercise no to protect ones individual wishes, freedom and mental health.
This article is about consequence of saying no or frequent no to your colleague(s), child or partner for something they want to do.
When you tell no, three things can happen.
You say No they don’t do it, but it lingers in there mind.
You say No, they do it. And the bad thing you why they shouldn’t do it happens. Following this the person can learn to appreciate you, or just hate you still. (Well humans are like that)
This is the thing one should fear the most. You say No, they do it and everything went fine. With that they stop asking you for permission and even loosing respect to your advice.
The above situation can be a good example of game theory, where the result of your advice or decision of saying No. Depends on how the other person react to it and its result.
A tip or method to avoid saying No.
Ask questions with no predefined judgement. Our brain wants to protect. Our brain is putting ourselves in the said position and making decisions. It is projecting our fears on to others. We shouldn’t let that part of the brain gain control. Instead we should gather more information, make the other person talk and allow there brain to make the decision.
As your NO has power and it has consequences.